Peace Amidst Pain
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Uncertainty. Unmet expectations. Rejection. Broken relationships. Ruined plans. Injuries. Sickness. Depression. Anxiety. Death. I would venture to say that the majority of you know a person in your life who is grappling with some form of heartache or sorrow, and boy is it challenging to watch someone you love endure pain. To you, I say that the greatest gift you can offer that person is your loving and supportive presence. You do not need to say the perfect thing, muster up a silver lining, or find a solution (1). It is comforting to simply have someone show up and listen well.
Now to the person facing the seemingly relentless pain — I am writing this for you. Because I am there too. People often write about hurt in hindsight, after they have had time to collect themselves, digest everything, and separate the emotion from some sort of newfound wisdom. Well, hindsight is not what I have at the moment. As I put these words on the page, my heart is heavy, and it aches. I cannot offer words of healing or provide an easy fix for the hurt you are enduring. I do not know when relief is coming — for you or for me. However, I promise you an honest look into how God is meeting me in the messiness, and I can say with confidence that navigating this with Jesus is better than the alternative.
I pray that my words can serve as a source of comfort for you in this darkness.
After shedding quite a few tears while pouring out my heart to a friend recently, she gently told me “it is entirely possible to be in pain and feel peace at the same time.” It was both perplexing and affirming. Perplexing, well, because pain and peace seem contradictory. How does one simultaneously experience such different emotions? Affirming, however, because I did actually feel that way. Although I couldn’t fully wrap my brain around it, I had this strange steadiness in my soul.
John 14 has one of the most famous “peace” verses in the Bible. Throughout the chapter, Jesus tells His disciples that soon He will leave them. The time for His crucifixion is near. They should not be troubled by His departure, though, because Jesus declares, “the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, who the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and remind you of everything I have told you. Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Don’t let your hearts be troubled or fearful.” (John 14:26-27)
What can we learn from this verse?
The peace of God is a promise.
The peace of God is a gift.
The peace of God is different than what we can get from the world.
God desires for our hearts to rest and trust, instead of being troubled or fearful.
Jesus lovingly assures His disciples that they will never be alone, the Holy Spirit will be their guide, and Jesus’ peace is always available. Did you get that? The peace that your weary heart is longing for is accessible today. It does not come only once you escape this dark, painful place. Scripture tells us that Jesus is the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6), not the Prince to Peace. Peace is not a destination. Jesus himself is our peace (Ephesians 2:14). Peace is available now. Morgan Harper Nichols so eloquently writes, “Even when I feel the void of what’s missing, I still have access to what I need: deeply rooted peace that goes beyond understanding.”
But peace doesn’t just happen to us. We have to choose peace. Every day I walk in this heartache, I have to recite that colorful verse above, again and again. Actively choosing peace is an act of great faith. It’s the choice not to remain powerless, hopeless, and helpless in the face of what life is hurling at us. Instead, we choose to believe in our powerful God. We can walk in the security of His love and presence, trust that He is a rescuer, and let Him carry us.
Unfortunately, though, receiving God‘s peace will not always result in a dramatic wave of relief, especially when the pain is fresh. If sadness still looms, it is okay. The peace God provides is not transformative because it brings happiness, but rather because it offers hope. You are not any less faithful because your heart still hurts. Just remind yourself that no matter how long it lasts or how bad it gets, the pain will not break you. When you feel surrounded and alone in the dark, God is there with you.
“There is another in the fire
Standing next to me
There is another in the waters
Holding back the seas
And should I ever need reminding
What power set me free
There is a grave that holds no body
And now that power lives in me.”
“Another in the Fire” - Hillsong Worship
Sit in the sorrow (2). Healing takes time. Lean on loved ones, and allow them to pour into you. Keep slowly putting one foot in front of the other. Rest in His unfailing love for you, and keep courageously carrying on.
(1) David Brooks, The Road to Character, 101
(2) Alicia Britt Chole, 40 Days of Decrease: A different kind of hunger. A different kind of fast, 26, Kindle
Betsy Brandon
My name is Betsy Brandon, and I am a professional footballer in Budapest, Hungary. It makes me very happy to say that I have never loved the game of soccer more than I do right now. Having lived in Colorado for 18 years of my life, it will always have my heart, but Charlottesville, Virginia is a second home to me after spending four memorable years at the University of Virginia. A few of my very favorite things at the moment are pastries, sunshine, reading, and painting.