Where's God When I'm Lonely?

Loneliness. That empty feeling that no one is there, no one is beside you, and there is no one you can turn to. Maybe life isn’t the way you thought it would turn out. Maybe you feel like you don’t fit in anywhere no matter how hard you try. Psalm 16:8 has been my verse for the last year. That has been what I have tried to cling to when circumstances and situations are beyond my control.  

Psalm 16:8 “I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me”

This verse starts off with I KNOW. But what if I don’t know? What if I don’t feel that he is right beside me? That no one is? How do I KNOW the Lord is always with me when it seems like no one else cares?

 The Lonely Seasons.

I’ve moved around a lot in my life. High school was amazing, as I had soccer and lots of friends. But as I grew up, multiple circumstances kept me from firmly believing God was really with me. My mom was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and we almost lost her a few times. My dad was asked to step down from his pastoral position for reasons that were absolutely beyond me and still are. In college, soccer was over, and I had a hard time making friends. I felt like I didn’t fit in anywhere. After college, I moved to the beach thinking I’d get another chance to start over and meet new friends, but it wasn’t what I expected.

If you looked at my social media pages, you would think I have a ton of people surrounding me. I have 1,604 followers on Instagram and 1,944 “friends” on Facebook. A lot? Yeah, I know. How can I have such a large online social circle and still feel so alone? How can I look so put together but not have anyone to run to when I am hurting? How is it that God is supposed to always be with me when time after time I am left feeling like he’s not? When I first moved out to Newport Beach, I was so lonely I had wanted to commit suicide. No one knew that. I didn’t feel like I could go to anyone with that struggle because I felt like I didn’t fit in anywhere.

But that is a lie.

Social media lies.

The enemy lies.

The enemy wants to make you FEEL isolated. The enemy wants you to FEEL God’s absence. He wants you to forget God’s faithfulness and presence in your life.

We so easily forget God’s presence.

In the Old Testament, there was a guy named Gideon who was an Israelite. God had literally parted the red sea for the Israelites along with a ton of miracles for them to bring them out of slavery. But anytime a single hard circumstance arose, the Israelites would forget God’s goodness. An angel appeared to Gideon and said: “Mighty hero! The Lord is with you!” (Judges 6:12). Right away, Gideon questions the angel and basically says, excuse me, if the Lord is with us why has all this happened to us? The Lord has abandoned us. (Judges 6:13-14)

How many times do we say that as well? God if you’re really with me and I am “fearfully and wonderfully made” why does it seem like no one is there for me? Why have you abandoned me?

I’ve come to learn God’s silence is not an absence. In her book, “It’s Not Supposed to Be This way,” author Lysa Terkeurst says, “God is never going to forsake you, but He will go to great lengths to remake you.”

God has brought me to what has felt the end of my rope multiple times. Each time has only been a season, and each season that followed has always held unexpected blessings. Sometimes the loneliness we experience shifts our focus back to the One who can remake us and heal us from hurt. God may be breaking you down for a TIME but that is because he wants to remake you into something better and stronger.

So don’t give up.

God knows things we do not. He loves us too much to give us what we think we want. He loves us enough to let us go through hard times to draw us closer to himself and increase our trust in Him.

Psalm 16:8 “I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me” We will not be shaken because our God is right beside us. Regardless of feeling, fear, or lack of what we thought life would look like, he will meet you in your loneliness. May you enter this week with that truth deep in your heart.

Bekah Bryant

I have a passion for telling others about God’s faithfulness in my life, to point them back to the one that has brought me through life’s challenges and getting to come out of them with a big fat smile on my face knowing that I was able to overcome because of Christ. I grew up in San Diego and Clovis, California. Soccer and skiing have been my two major passions in life and started both at an early age. I attended Cal Baptist University and went on to pursue my teaching credential at Vanguard University. I now get to pursue ministry through FCA full time in Clovis, CA!