Finding Treasure Amid the Turmoil

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:21

For me, success as an athlete started at a young age. I can vividly remember my “all school track meets” in elementary school, collecting my ribbons over the years, and creating a wall of fame in my closet. A little excessive, I know. I had a competitive spirit, and once I realized I could succeed in this area of my life, I didn’t want to stop. This continued into my junior high and high school years, as I made the varsity track team as a sprinter and jumper in 7th grade and continued to compete at that level all through my career.

As I became more and more successful, anything less than the best wasn’t good enough for me. Even though I had a relationship with Jesus, I lost sight of the worth that he had given me, and I started to put my worth in my track success. If I lost, didn’t beat my personal best, or just didn’t measure up to what others thought I should be, I would feel worthless. I would get so down on myself and would work harder and harder so I didn’t have to feel that.

My performance improved, but the motives were so wrong.

By the time my senior year rolled around, I had a successful winning streak in both long and triple jump, and I was planning on going to college at Indiana Wesleyan University on a track scholarship. On the outside, it seemed perfect. But on the inside, my success was driven on fear, anxiety, and a need to be perfect. My heart was so heavy that I no longer got joy from competing.

I made it to the state meet and was ranked to win the long jump easily. My plan was to win long jump, leave a state champ, and waltz over to Indiana to continue my success streak. Let’s be real, though, how often do things actually go the way we plan them?

To put it simply though, I jumped worse that day than I ever had in my life. I missed all my jumps, and the one I did make was a distance I hadn’t jumped since 8th grade.

It was absolutely humiliating. I left that day with bitterness and anger sitting in my already heavy heart. I hated track, I hated who I thought I was, and I hated what my life had turned out to be. In my anger, I made a decision that forever changed my life, and looking back now, I know God’s hand was woven into that decision. I turned down the scholarship that I had worked so hard for and sent in my letter of acceptance to a college up in North Dakota, hoping I could pretend this never happened. I was bitter, broken, and hurting.

But sometimes when we’re broken and hurting, God works in incredible ways.

I went to North Dakota State University, without the identity that I had carefully crafted for myself all through high school. I had almost no friends, no sport, and nothing to cling to for who I was. And so, it was in that first semester of my freshman year of college that I started to cling to the cross. Gently, God molded my heart, filling the voids that had been previously filled with fear, anxiety, and success.

In Matthew 6, Jesus is preaching to a crowd of people who are following him. He says,

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth…but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

That’s where I went completely wrong. I had made track, success, and the approval of others my treasure. And because those were my treasure, they had my heart.

When we are building up for ourselves earthly treasures of success, worth, or beauty, that is where our heart will be, and that will never last. When I stored up success, approval, and value, my heart was held captive by those things, and I lost sight of who God made me to be.

I have learned to use the gifts God has given me for him. He has become my greatest treasure. He has to be my greatest treasure, for then and only then will he have my whole heart.

Where is your treasure? That’s where your heart is going to be.

Annie Militzer

Hi! I’m Annie, and I am a Midwest native who recently moved to Orange County with my husband, Josiah. I am on staff with Orange County FCA and have a passion for Jesus, athletes, and anything outdoors. You’ll often find me outside enjoying God’s creation or sipping on coffee in any local coffee shop. I love building relationships with athletes and doing life with them as they seek to follow the Lord in the sport that they love.